Is Grief Holding You Back from Making Decisions?

I am in the middle part of my life, and enjoying every minute. When I was younger, I didn’t think much about what it would be like to lose someone close to me. It was always something that was so far away from me, that it didn't feel possible.

I see things through different eyes now. I am in the phase of life where my parents and In-Laws are in the final quarter of their lives. The conversations we have now are about how to support them so they can age gracefully. It’s a new chapter for all of us and I am digging deeper for more compassion as we navigate this new landscape together.

In the middle of this, I found myself this past year supporting a lot of new clients who were going through grief and loss of a loved one.

One of the things that stood out the most was that, in all of these cases, each client was struggling to make decisions. All of these clients were high-functioning people before they experienced the loss in their lives. They all reached out to me because they needed the support to move forward and help with making hard decisions. 

One of my clients told me, “I just feel stuck, I’m having a hard time making decisions because everything feels overwhelming.”

We are there for our clients to offer emotional support when sifting through the physical stuff gets hard. We support them to move through their physical stuff because we often find that our clients are exhausted.

One key thing we focus on when working with a grieving client is to identify their goals from the beginning and come back to them throughout the process, as we hit emotional blocks along the way.

For one of our clients, his goal after the loss of his wife was to sell his house and move closer to his children and grandchildren. The 4 bedroom 3 bath house was full of stuff and memories of their wonderful life together. The thought of going through it all alone was unimaginable.

So we kept the big goal of him moving closer to his kids as his north star throughout the process. I remember that, as the days went on, he seemed to find more ease and comfort in the process.

After one of the sessions, he was full of gratitude. He said that, with our support, he felt like he had uncorked a bottle of wine – things were flowing with ease and decisions were becoming more clear. He was in the flow!

In this process, I realized that the compassion I had for him and his loss is just preparing me for what will come eventually in my life. 

After his move, I checked on him before the holidays to see how he was getting settled in his new home and he said, “I still look back with great fondness and gratitude for the work that you did to help me with my move. I am so glad that I moved to my new apartment and that I am no longer a homeowner with so much stuff.”

It’s the best feeling being able to support someone through a big milestone like loss. We were just a small part of the bigger picture, but we were so glad he allowed us to support him in moving forward in this next chapter.

If you or a loved one is struggling with grief and clutter, we would love to talk and see how we can support you in this chapter of your life. Click here to schedule a 15-minute phone consultation

Be well,

Meghan LeBaudour